Thursday, 6 December 2012

Merry Christmas from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge


Isn’t this the best Christmas present?  2012 has been the year for unadulterated love of being British proudly stamping it with endless bunting.  We have pomped our way through the Diamond Jubilee, cried and cheered during the Olympics and adored the Queen for jumping out of a plane with James Bond.  Just as we were starting to get a bit depressed about vile journalism, horrified at Savile investigations and appalled by government Arts cuts or indeed the government in general, the Royal Family swoop back in and recover our patriotic spirit.
Kate is pregnant!!  Kate and Wills are gonna be parents!
Sorry...The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a future monarch of England.  But they’re just so accessible and smiley that you feel that we can still call them Wills and Kate!

 
I have to admit I have spent much of 2012 wishing I could be more like Kate.  When you are the same age as somebody you cannot help but draw comparisons between your lives (Beyonce is also the same age as me but I had to give up those comparisons as the results left me feeling lardy and depressed at my lack of brilliant booty skills!)  But Kate seems to embody everything that we aspire to be; fabulous hair, ability to rock a winter coat and now she’s happily married with a little one on the way.  Give me Kate over Pippa’s bum and her questionable authorship skills any day.
Judging by the deluge of articles about morning sickness since Monday we can safely say that Kate’s pregnancy will be under scrutiny.  Do we really need to know “I had morning sickness too,” “I’ve been through what Kate’s going through,” “Is it twins?” because 9 months is a long time to read waffle.  Kate’s high-street chain wearing accessible-ness, plus the fact that she is baking a future King or Queen, means we have a vested interest in her pregnancy.  We’ve followed her from that catwalk outfit at Uni, through the brief break up and to her wedding.  But we do need to remember that having a first child is an intensely private thing between a young couple and must to refrain from tracking her weight gain, food cravings or circling her varicose veins in Heat! Magazine.

I saw a quote this week saying that poor Kate’s womb has been under pressure to perform since that kiss on the balcony last year.  We all know that wombs don’t work well under pressure; not since Henry VIII and his desire for an heir has there been so much speculation over Royal fertility!  Luckily, William seems slightly more relaxed about the sex of his heir so I don’t think there’ll be any heads rolling anytime soon.

The thing I love most about Kate Middleton is that she seems to transcend the default female behaviour of envy.  Women are sometimes quick to bitch or judge about a fellow female if they feel threatened by such gorgeous perfection.  We have all been guilty of it, that’s why I stopped my Beyonce age comparisons because it was taking me to a bad place and switched to Britney instead!  But with Kate, women seem to genuinely love her; my 31 year old self doesn’t be-wail my lack of a baby or husband in comparison or my short and dumpy to her tall and sleek.  We are thrilled that she is pregnant and wish her the best even though we know she will manage to glow for 9 months whereas we may balloon and sweat!
We don’t need to hear about swelling ankles or stretch marks because she has that old Hollywood glamour which prefers mystery to tabloid ‘no-holds barred’ gossip.

Let’s just hope that there are no French paparazzi around when she goes into labour.

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