The idea of turning 30 later this year has turned me into that cliched woman who begins to question things! Having spent 10 funfilled and crazy years acting I am beginning to crave that elusive "secure" life that I have occasionally witnessed in my friends who managed to become doctors and lawyers during the years in which I was dancing to ABBA and dying on a barricade nightly. So instead of retraining as someone who can do things with computers which might bring me this security I became a freelance feature writer which I now understand is as uncertain and unsure as acting! It seems I am destined to follow what I love and never get a step on the property ladder.
But now my loyalties are torn. Whilst applying daily for writing jobs and dreaming of sitting at a news desk I am still getting called in for auditions for jobs which if I am honest dont't really appeal to me in the same way as they used to. For example, I am meant to be finding two uptempo pop songs right now for an audition tomorrow but the fact that I am blogging away instead says it all. But get me up on the stage, as I am currently doing nightly in Hello Jerry! at The Landor Theatre, London and I come alive and all thoughts of headlines and newsflashes are overtaken by tap shoes and jazz hands!
So am I clearly having that 30 year old woman meltdown I read about in magazines, or developing two personalities or have I learnt to love two careers and maybe just maybe I can work out a way of working them alongside one another?
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