We are taught from a young age to “Be
Prepared;” whether as a woggle-wearing Scout or in a PSHE class when you are
handed a banana and a Durex and told to do your best. If you are prepared for any eventuality then
you will never be fazed.
Well I was well and truly caught on
the back foot earlier this week because I admit I've been resting on my laurels a bit
lately. I haven’t given my ‘actress-self’
an airing for a while; with moving house, nesting with my man and teaching in-between,
the bright lights of London have become a bit blurry now that I am an extra 30
miles and a £28 train fare away. In this
slothful state I have been hypocritically teaching my students that they must
practise everyday to improve (Hello Kettle, you’re black!) yet I
have not been keeping on top of things.
On Tuesday I’d planned a trip to Kent
to see a friend in a play and was thoroughly enjoying myself when I went to
turn off my phone before we went into the theatre and saw missed calls from my
agents! Now the last time that happened
was for that ill-fated physical theatre audition (see previous blog) and so I
was naturally apprehensive plus the fact that it was 7pm.
Words swam through my voicemail
saying that I had a last minute casting for a highly reputable regional theatre,
a place that I had been begging to get a meeting with for yonks. “Hooray!” I thought only to go weak at the
knees when they added could I read the whole script, learn the French song attached
(in French) and take my own French song all for 12 noon the next day. French songs?
Tomorrow?
16 hours until the casting - 17% battery
left on my phone, no 3G and 94 miles from home with a Samuel Beckett play to
watch. I glazed over and found my seat
in the auditorium; Beckett’s words mingled with my brain’s desperate attempts to
remember if I ever sang anything to my GCSE French oral examiner?
13 and a half hours until the
casting – a round of applause and a hasty exit found me back on the M25 and in
a ‘petit meltdown!” Could I sing a song
from Les Miserables? It’s written by Frenchmen
and set in France so I could cobble together a version of On My Own with an
accent, what would it be...”Toutes Seule”?
Non! This is a play you “musical theatre, keep dining out on the fact
you were in Les Mis once,” fool!
‘Frere Jacques’ was thrown into the
equation, but I came unstuck after ‘Dormez vous’ and belted out ‘soggy semolina
soggy semolina!’ The only other option
was the French classroom classic “Quel est la date de ton anniversaire?” my
best friend and I do a brilliant version where we rap all of the months of the
year but was it right for 1940s France and did it show off my vocal range? This wasn’t going to work, so far, Daniella
Gibb – Nil Pois.
12 and a half hours until casting –
finally back at home I proceeded to print out the 85 page script and battle my
heavy eyelids to read to the end.
3 hours until the casting – I had
wasted precious hours sleeping although my baggy eyes suggested otherwise. My poor boyfriend got an early morning alarm
in the form of my vocal warm-up to blast him awake as I paced up and down
warbling in French and muttering at how talentless I was.
2 and a half hours to go - I
thought I could maybe make-up for the lack of preparation time if I could blind
the casting director with my lookey-likey ability. You know how I love any excuse to dress like
the part; so I donned by most nun-like black dress, crucifix and 1940s hairdo.
1 hour until the casting – sipping honey
and lemon on the train I tried one last attempt to learn the French songs; I
may have had “No regrets,” but I think the commuter next to me definitely
regretted his choice to sit next to the mad, singing lady for 53 minutes!
As with all auditions, I was in and
out within 15 minutes and stood shell-shocked outside wondering what on earth had
just happened in the last 12 hours.
During my huge adrenalin come-down I reflected on the moral of this tale. I had fallen into the trap of the “resting
actor” and forgotten that I have to be ready at any moment to become the
actor-me again.
As an actor you may have 3 castings
a week or nothing for months but you mustn’t forget your “raison d’etre” (gosh
I just can’t stop the French now can I?!) whilst you fill the in-between time. It is easier, and sometimes a way of
protecting yourself, to get lost in your bar-work, teaching or other pursuits
and put your acting on the back-burner.
But if performing is the thing that makes you truly alive then you can’t
let those skills drift away. When I was
studying for my fitness qualification I learnt that it takes only 2 weeks of no
exercise for the benefits of all your months of training to disappear and just because
I did 3 years of drama training 11 years ago doesn’t mean that my singing and
dancing skills will still be at their peak. Performance skills, like everything from
Marathon training to your mental capacity for crosswords, are muscles that need
to be worked.
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| We actors love an impro game! |
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