Change - "Everything in Life is Only For Now"

A train journey can lull even the most stressed commuter to sleep; the rock of carriages over the track and condensation cooling your face as the (less than hygienic) window becomes a makeshift pillow, all these elements conspire to create a slumbering haven.  This is especially the case on an early morning train or for any number of the Avenue Q-ers who have travelled the length and breadth of the UK via National Rail.  Something about a train journey is hypnotic, comforting and safe but then you get to the end of the line.

“All change please” is the cry.  For romantic story-telling purposes I am imagining this coming from a conductor with a moustache, suit and whistle in the 1930s rather than that automated posh lady or scrolling text on a screen today.

You have to get off and continue your journey.  But in that state of relaxation you really don’t want to; you’re comfortable, you’ve grown attached to the seat and pieces of chewing gum beneath it and the thought of your forthcoming meeting/audition/lunch with the in-laws is not appealing.  But you must get off; changing is the only option.

I am someone who thinks they crave change but when it is presented to me, I panic and cling on to what I know.  Just as I begrudgingly get off the train at Waterloo when I’d rather stay put and head back from whence I came!

A change can be invigorating and for the best so why does it appear so daunting?  Whether it is a change in job or relationships, it feels overwhelming and clinging to what and who you know seems like the safest and less painful option.  Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I bet if you look back over changes in your life you will admit that the change did lead to something better.....eventually.

We have less than two weeks left on Avenue Q and after 6 months of travelling, working and living together the company is disbanding and heading off for new horizons.  For some it is a relief; they are ready for new challenges and mentally left the contract weeks ago.  For others, unemployment looms like a foreboding dark cloud and the thought of a change in routine is further upheaval.  I fall somewhere in-between; I never want to see a suitcase again but the thought of leaving some people, pay-checks and (surprisingly) the puppets pull at my heart strings.  Actors have to able to adapt to quick changes in circumstance and this soppy creature of comforts finds it hard.

I have written an article in the past about actors and bravery; having that inner steel to deal with rejection, exposure, vulnerability and fighting against the “norm.”  I now see (with that old friend hindsight) that actors don’t have the monopoly on this because everybody faces these challenges.  Without nurturing your inner steel, relationships, rows and problems just cause you more stress and I personally need a bloomin’ metal detector to find my inner steel sometimes.

I suppose we need to adhere to the old adage about waves when considering change......resist and you go under, ride it out and you arrive on the other side.  (I was reminded of this whilst watching the beautiful The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, wonderfully written, acted and full of nuggets of wisdom, watch it!)  Sadly, my one surfing lesson “down-under” on Bondi Beach came to an abrupt end - I was unable to even carry the damn board in my midget-length arms and after several failed attempts to get past the first break in the waves I ended up sunbathing – so perhaps I should have chosen a better analogy than waves!  But you catch my drift?  (Oh stop the metaphors I hear you cry!)

We can try to fight change; pretend to be asleep at the end of the line, ignoring the shouts of the train conductor but, ultimately, we have no choice.  It is going to happen whether we are ready for it or not.  That conductor is going to turf us off into new decisions and opportunities and we just need to trust him.

With all the change coming my way soon, this scared little blogger is hoping and praying that he will point me in the right direction and not hand me a surfboard!